Another word which I am going to use to express this word is Ah! And I am pretty sure that everyone who is a part of the relationship once in their life can easily understand the depth of “Ah!”. It is a basic human necessity to love or to be loved so that’s the reason people develop feeling towards other as they pass through the different span of their life, it can be a crush that can end up within 1 or 2 days or on the other hand, it can be a long term relationship.
A time when you realize that there is a someone special who believes in you, motivate and inspire you, the presence of that person give strength to you, then you can understand the actual meaning of the relationship. Hence being in a relationship is our own option which 99% of people choose to live as a happily ever after life which we do, but, unfortunately, it has a sad ending with sorrow.
Table of Contents
What is Considered a Long Term Relationship:
The long term relationship varies from person to person because it depends how they will value this terminology in their life. Emotions, feelings, expectations, expression, and sensation will be alike once you in love but the worth of the relationship in their life might not be the same. When we talk about long-term the first mania comes to mind is the duration that we being in a relation. Once again the thought process varies, let me elaborate, the people in the western world for them six month is a quite big duration for relationship whereas on the other side of the world people being in one relation for years and years and they spend whole life fulfilling their commitment.
Long term is an opposite of casual relationship, to an intimate interpersonal relationship that can be lifelong including marriage or maybe not, as it depends on individuals who are in relation.
The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship:
Sometimes partners start taking each other for granted especially when they are in a long term relationship and that’s the phase when partners try to be overconfident while overlooking each other opinions and start assuming the situations on the behalf of other rather than discussing and coming to the decision on a mutual basis. The same situation happens to the sex life, at the beginning of relationship desire and passion are very high but once people get comfortable in their relations then all other factors of life start playing their role in the life and desire start fading out if we don’t work on it. To keep the desired spark alive over a long term relationship we need to understand the pleasure and the connection because it is a root of desire. Esther Perel a psychotherapist who had a detailed talk in 2013 on the secret to desire in a long term relationship which I would like to recommend you all because it will answer your all questions.
When to End a Long-Term Relationship:
It is a bitter reality that many of us are in relation to a person who is not right for us but for some reason we still live with them. Leaving in such a situation is sometimes very hard but the thing which is more important is to know all the facts so you can make an informed decision with no regrets. You will face a war within you of leaving or living and accepting that what you have is good enough, but honestly this grey visions really take away the happiness and contentment of your life. Ending a relationship comes a bit later first we need to make up our mind that it is the time to abandon a relation which we can find out by increasing self-awareness by asking questions
If religion is the only reason for leaving together and keep dragging a relation which is already on ending note that its a time to think because every religion gives us a freedom to get divorce although this is one of the hatred act, but if there is no connection left at all except the religion string then you should know what to do.
If you find yourself standing alone and trying to work out on the things to make the relationship better whereas your partner rather than putting effort getting harder day by day then you just destroying your self-esteem by tolerating his or her unacceptable behavior.
In relation respect of individuals should be maintained and if it is not there then no point to be together.
How to End The Long Term Relationship:
Ending a relationship and leave with dignity without hurting self-esteem is not an easy task. In normal situations, partners do have an argument and especially when they trying to get out of the relationship huge dispute take place but it really not worth to have it at this stage because you probably had enough accused each other in past.
I believe that the situation of breaking up does not come in overnight and ones it comes in the mind means that he or she had tried their level best to protect the relation but unfortunately failed to maintain. So ones you take a decision of getting a part than be clear and stick to it because dragging leads to more trouble and harder especially when you have kids.
- Compose yourself and try to stay calm and polite throughout.
- Be realistic and get yourself ready for the consequences
- Talk to you partner and try to work on a mutual basis for separation to make it less stress full.
- Seek for professional help if you fail to manage it by yourself and it’s always good to talk so you can express and feel relax.
Recovering From Long-Term Relationship Break-up:
Breaking up is itself a hard thing which people have to do sometimes in their relationship and when we talking about the recovery it can be very painful and challenging because winding up and move on a situation cannot be delightful. Romance is a chapter of a relationship book, not the whole book so when we are in relationships we depend on each other for our small routine things believing that the other person will manage it for him or her. So after break up, you will reveal their presence here and there in your life but keep it in mind that there is a series of reason who pushed you to take such a decision. Thinking over and over will take you nowhere in your life. Some suggestion that can help you to overcome your grieve.
Try tune and polish yourself, organize your routine on a daily basis
Keep yourself busy so don’t find much time to think about ex
Once you over in relation then never bother yourself to peep into their lives because you both are working to move on in your lives and see that will only hurt you.
How long it takes to get over from a long-term relationship:
There is no hardcore answer to this question means you have to give time as much as it requires. There is no universal formula or scheduled breakup policies and procedures. Everyone different and they have their own way of dealing with emotions and grieve so don’t be hard on yourself. The experts think that there are definitely some things that can help you during this situation and which you should seek while you facing this situation. There are many negative thoughts come to you when you are passing through this emotional trauma but it is suggested that you try to stop these thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.
Common problems in a long-term relationship:
Being with someone in a long term relationship gives you a good feeling that there is someone on who you can rely and he or she is going to be next to you in your ups and downs of the life. In other words we can say that if someone in a long term relationship that means they are doing well and fulfilling each other requirements and that’s the reason they are still together but nothing can be hundred percent so relation have some mood swings too, which can be sorted out if both partners agree to discuss and work together for the betterment of relationship. Nine out of ten people try to avoid discussion which in result starts piling up things within you and whenever you sit and talk with your partner it leads to uncomfortable conversation. So try to talk and not to avoid.
Every couple is different so we really cannot guarantee that there problem and issues are alike but they are some common fight inducing problems which you all should know to prevent your long term relationship from ruining. Relationship experts reveal from the research that same problems arise in a different couple from time to time which ends up the relationship in a big disaster. Some of the issues that experts believe could be the cause for ending a long term relationship are here
- Not on the same pace means having different visions about the life make it hard for both partners to find a middle a way of adjustment.
- Breaking someone’s trust in a relationship is something really hard to recover.
- Sexual incompatibility such as lack of sexual expression from either partner make one or both very frustrated which you all going to witness in your daily routine life
- Lack of intimacy, it can be emotional either physical and this is the only way to express your love for your partner and make him/her feel that how much important he or she is in the life.
- Conflict a normal behavior but the way of tackling is very important because it leads the situation to worst or make it better.
How to know when to end a relationship:
This is a very complex and uncomfortable situation when you stuck up in thoughts to find out that the person you living with or you in a relationship is the right choice or you quit the situation and move on in the life for a better opportunity. There is no actual measuring instrument available to figure out this problem but experts came up with a series of questions to diagnose the issues and access your relationship. These filters based on observing the post-decision experiences of multiple couples.
You can find out your standing in other person life by observing a few things such as in your daily life you can observe that are you making too much efforts to meet your needs while you in relation with that person, do both partners have genuine feeling for each other, both partner get sexually attracted by each other, however relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners and if it is fighting or resistance and ego more than sharing caring and loving in a relationship than probably better of letting it go.
How long one should wait to date after a long-term relationship:
Well, honestly it is hard to tell that how long should one wait before starting a new relationship because it varies from person to person as well as to situation. Relationship therapist suggests that people after a break-up should take some time to get over plus realize and learn from their past experience and bring that knowledge into a new relationship and that’s the way you can build a healthier bonding rather than going through the same phase with some new faces. If your heart is still stuck up in the old relation and you feeling that engaging yourself into new relation will help you to overcome and get rid of these feeling then it is not fair with the person you dating and trust me it’s not going to work out because you looking for escape which can be temporary solution but not permanent.
The Author of Your Ultimate life plan told that it is something need to solve within you and while thinking wisely learn from the pain that came to your life from the previous relationship and then move into a new chapter of the life.
How important is sex in a long-term relationship:
Sex plays a vital role in making a relationship healthier and builds strong bonding because it associates with stability in a relationship. It increases bonding if it fulfills both partners desire. The significance of sex in the life is different for different people and even sometimes partners have two individual thoughts so it’s always good to talk about with each other.
Sex has many positive physical, emotional, intellectual and social benefits and understanding of these benefit make married life happy. Sex is one of the ways through which both can open up and express themselves through emotions. Scientifically proved that sex makes you look younger due to better dietary habit and frequent exercise as well as reduce the fat by burning calories. Oxytocin released during orgasm promotes peaceful sleep plus reduce the heart problems. Sex therapist Sandor Gardos said, “When things go well in bed, you feel more confident and powerful in other parts of life”. From the survey conducted in the past proves all married couple stressed that sex is very important because it maintains the intimacy level which is essential for both partners to run the relationship successfully throughout the chaotic life which normally started straight after the honeymoon period over.
Is physical attraction very important in a long-term relationship:
Physical attraction play like a spark in a long term relationship and to keep that spark alive we need to nourish ourselves for each other as well as for us. As the time passes people get too busy in their life and once they had kids the whole new chapter of the life starts in which both partners have less time for each other and the main focus of their life at that stage is the babies. Women after having babies start ignoring themselves means stop looking after themselves such as no proper dressing, makeup etc which affect their physical appearance and start losing a centre of attraction in their partner’s life. Both partners should maintain that appearance which brings them close to each other when they met for the first time, to keep the feeling of attraction alive and have a good long term relationship. Relation doesn’t base on one thing it’s a mix match of everything so we all should know about them if we really want our relation to last forever.
How to recover from a break-up of a long-term relationship:
Break up is itself the worst thing and if someone has to do just keep it in minds that it is a very tough situation and try not to make harder for yourself by stressing out that you are not following pre-determined timeline correctly. Here is some suggestion that can be helpful for some of you to get over from you long term relationship.
First and most important thing is to accept the reality which is, your relationship is over.
Hang out with friends rather than spending time alone and thinking about the past.
Try to keep yourself occupied.
Set your new goals and rebuild your identity as an individual once again without ex.
Plan for vacations to explore and experience some new things.
I wrote this article to give awareness and suggestion about a long term relationship, which was based on some expert people conducted surveys in the past with different couples and might be helpful for some people if they apply in their life. But I also believe that roots of relationship can be the same but causes are different from person to person depends on their caliber and sometimes a quite unusual things turn up which no one ever faced it before.